kreiderchris:

"yeah today i had to shovel dildos off the ice"

kreiderchris:

"yeah today i had to shovel dildos off the ice"

(via memewhore)

Anonymous said: The first time I ever gave a blowjob was when I was 21 and very very drunk. I apparently gave him a very odd look and he asked what was wrong. I managed to slur out, "it tastes like skin," and gave his dick a very confused look. We had to stop for five minutes because he was laughing too hard

ianoshea:

IT TASTES LIKE SKIN

this one

this is my favourite one.

bvsedjesus:

the FBI is investigating who leaked all those nudes but darren wilson is free & cops are breaking the law. lol ok.

(via ohcaptain1mycaptain)

tastefullyoffensive:

The best costume spotted at Disneyland’s 10k race today. [adamlc6]

tastefullyoffensive:

The best costume spotted at Disneyland’s 10k race today. [adamlc6]

(via ohcaptain1mycaptain)

izziesworldofizzie:

stagecoachjessi:

Classic Hollywood Bloopers

And the greatest Hollywood blooper of all time:

(via lunalovegouda)

ringingallover:

meecheee123:

ringingallover:

do centaur babies suckle from the horse nipples or the human nipples tho

Centaurs aren’t real. Do you understand that?

yes that is why i made a tumblr post about this instead of just asking a real centaur

(via sharltonspensiter)

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK

YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD

 MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE

(via sharltonspensiter)

Jupiter structural layer cake

(Source: cakecrumbs.me, via babycarwee)